I think, therefore i blog

I have a bad habit of blogging too late at night. And on weekends. I guess my brain and heart are full and I feel the need
to share, particularly now. so I can sleep.

Today I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships that used to be. People I once was close to and shared my hopes and dreams with…friends I thought would be around for life, or at least most if it.

Then time passes, and you or they enter a new stage of life or you remain behind while they soldier on to the next adventure. The phone calls get further apart. Your interaction and social lives diverge. Life goes on. You drift away.

On the other hand, there is one or sometimes a few, if you’re a lucky one like me, that are like the sisters your parents never gave birth to. Through the ebb and flow of life, they are constant. you figure out how you relate under new life experiences and stick like Gorilla Glue, no matter how many miles separate.

I’m in a place right now that feels like friend limbo. The sister-friends aside, I feel a little adrift.

One of my besties will be leaving MN sometime this year. I’m married, a couple friends aren’t. I have a kiddo now, and some friends don’t or some have more than one. I’m still getting to know the women in our new (and wonderful!) church and small group. I live a lot further north than 75% of the women I know at MOMS and through other social connections.

I’m not whining. I just need some relational ballast.

I can’t really figure out what I’m so nostalgic about regarding the friends that have slid out of my embrace, but I miss them.

I struggle inwardly to make new connections, even though I appear extroverted. My deep self both yearns and loathes vulnerability in a dissonant chord.

My only remedy for this weird sort of friendship purgatory is to invite people over, to put myself out there and hope that the other person might crave female companionship as much as I do.

Friendships take time, but darn it all, time seems to take friendships. Ah, there it is again, the bittersweetness of life.

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Author: jomegs

my life is full and beautiful because the Lord of all creation has seen fit to take me as His own. I have a wondeful husband, a sweet puppy, a beautiful baby boy, a lovely house in a small town, and two great jobs that allow me to mostly work from home. I throw the occasional temper tantrum, love good food, bake drool-worthy treats, and have a love affair with French-pressed coffee and vanilla lattes.

7 thoughts on “I think, therefore i blog”

  1. really well said. moving around a lot, and maintaining long-distance r’ships, creates this thought pattern quite a bit… no matter where your friends live, no r’ship can be one-sided to last. this much i know.

  2. I’ve been thinking about this too (especially since I skipped MOMS this year). Good solid friendships are hard to come by and take a lot of work to get to a place where you can be 100% yourself. How the heck did I luck out having you as one of those friends. 😉 I sometimes yearn for the days where I was surrounded by friends 24/7. Looking back living at a TC had some advantages. Now, instead of rolling out of bed and having a close girlfriend close by, I have to email/call and schedule for a playdate/girl night out. And making new friends…totally not as easy as it seems. I guess I’ve been feeling this way, because once you- know-who leaves at the end of the year/beginning of next, I will no longer have a close friend nearby. Sounds totally selfish, but it’s true. Okay, continuing on with the selfishness: will you please move back to the Cities, Jo, PLEASE!! 😉 Anyway, good thoughts. Yay for sister-friends (we really are quite fortunate to still have tried and true friends who are there for us – even if they live hundreds of miles away) and for nearby friends…and friends to come!

    1. yeah. I think that’s part of it – friendships nowadays take so much WORK. Know that it IS a goal of ours to move closer in…not the Cities, but closer. So that will help in a year or two.

  3. Ack. THAT was melancholy… and pretty much exactly how I’ve been feeling too. 😦 We must must must make the effort for many more impromptu coffee dates this year (or more! Or less, too.) Either way, more coffee!

  4. I feel like you have been reading my mind. One of my best friends moved away this year. You know the one that you can be honest enough to let them see the real you. I have been feeling the same way of pushing myself out there which I am not the best at. I am trying to decide whether or not to take a new Bible study but even that is confusing,downtown or something closer but not as good of a study.
    You are at a great stage of life to meet new people. Children seem to put you in new circles all the time.
    As always ,thanks for thinking & blogging.

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